Experiences of a coffineer - Part 7

The art of death

Isn't it a shame that in this day and age of creativity and innovation there seems to be little progress in the design of coffins?


In fact you could say that coffin design (or manufacture at least) has taken a step backwards in the UK where the majority of sales today are of chipboard coffins with wood-effect plastic veneer or sticky back plastic in Blue Peter parlance.

Of course there are exceptions and I must say that I do like many of the woven willow coffins as well as the natural wool coffin from Hainsworth, both of which provide softer, more aesthetic options - but it's such a shame that many families are "led" down the chipboard coffin route simply for monetary reasons.

When we first designed The Curve coffin we knew we had something special -  after all there aren't any other wooden coffins with a curved profile on the market - but with an artistic hand painted, creative finish we think that we've moved coffin design into a whole new era.

Our goal is to produce beautiful works of art for each and every coffin that we make.

At the moment we have a hand-painted Curve coffin on display at the Wealden Makers' Gallery in Tenterden, Kent

The coffin is a full sized adult coffin with a beautiful artistic design created by my talented partner, Holly. It has a rubbed-back, rustic feel duck egg base coat with a stunning, stylised single dove on the top as the main image and a beautiful twisted vine border running long the edge.

I'm pleased to say that we've had great feedback from visitors to the gallery with many positive comments.

Also at the gallery is a variety of art from Tenterden Makers artists and regular exhibiting guests including photography, ceramics, felting, paintings and mosaics. For more information about the artists please see www.tenterdenmakers.com

For more information about our beautiful coffins please go to www.wealdencoffins.co.uk

Experiences of a Coffineer - Part 6

Talking with the dead


Imagine the scene: a cold dark draughty room with only a few flickering candles for light. A group of strange people gathered uncomfortably around the table. The sound of eerie music playing in the background.

Now, before we all get carried away, I'm not really referring to Ouija board seance mumbo jumbo here.

As I think I may have mentioned before, one of the most amazing and emotional parts of this job is speaking with your prospective customers as they make plans for their own deaths or for the funerals of their loved ones.

Since we first opened Wealden Coffins with the launch of the Curve Coffin last spring I've had many such conversations and I can tell you there is nothing quite so humbling as a deep and meaningful conversation with someone who is planning their own death.

Whilst most funerals are arranged in haste by family members with the local funeral directors, often with no real knowledge of what the deceased really wanted for their final celebration, there is definitely a growing number of people who want to research the options before they die and make some if not all of the final arrangement for their own funerals. 

And from the conversations I've had it seems that the last thing most of these people want is an impersonal, bog standard funeral with an often mundane and  uninspiring traditional coffin.

I recently had a chat with a lovely lady who had discovered us through the the coffin listings on the Good Funeral Guide where our good friend Charles Cowling kindly promotes us.

We talked about the weather, the snow and the rain (ok so it wasn't that recent) how the farmers were struggling and of course our coffins. She mentioned how lovely it was to see a coffin that looked so unusually unlike a coffin and how beautiful they looked!

Michelle had seen our beautiful Curve Coffin hand painted by Holly with our tree of life design but wanted to know if it was available with apples instead of hearts for the fruits. I explained that all of our coffins are hand made to order and then painted to order so anything was possible! 

We spoke about colours and finishes, apples (my favourites are Braeburn, Michelle's were Galas) and how many handles were on the coffins, that they are made from natural hemp rope and totally structural. 

At the time I wasn't sure if it was a request for herself or for another family member. I followed up with an email  confirming our conversation and left it at that.

It wasn't until several weeks later that I was reminded of the call when I was approached by the funeral directors acting for the family. Michelle had passed away and had left detailed instructions about the actual coffin she wanted for her own funeral, specifying the design, the colour and the finish in her final wishes. 

It's conversations like these that make me realise that what we are doing is something special.

We've had several people tell us that our coffins are beautiful and it's great to know that we aren't just making coffins, we make things of beauty.

Experiences of a coffineer - Part 4

Let's talk about death, baby. Let's talk about you and me.....



....Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be.

Did you see what I did there?

Ok sorry, but given the nature of this post, I couldn't resist the play on words. And it makes such a nice catchy title doesn't it? No, truly, doesn't it?

Anyway, if you're bored already and would rather not talk about death, maybe click the link below and listen to the Salt N Pepa classic instead. It's really called "Let's talk about sex" just in case you weren't aware - and it's a funky little number!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzfo4txaQJA

However, if you are still here (or you've just come back having listened to Salt N Pepa) then that's a good sign.

This week has been all about getting people to talk about death, or so it seems to me, and I think that is a really good thing.

Why do I think this? Well let me put it this way, we all have to talk about death at some stage - it's inevitable that death is going to cross our path on at least one occasion in our "life" and it's more likely that we'll have to deal with the death of at least a couple of friends and family members on the way - so why wait until it's smacking us in the face with its harsh reality to start talking?

Life really is a beautiful thing and hopefully most of us will enjoy at least some part of our short time on this planet (and hopefully a lot more). But we all know this time is limited (within our present existence anyway) and so isn't it better that we are open and honest with ourselves and acknowledge this fact. Isn't it a better idea that we talk about life and death, and talk about our hopes and wishes in both? Isn't it better that we prepare our children and spouses and siblings for what is going to happen instead of shielding them from it - only for it to appear in childhood nightmares and possibly shocking depression in later life?

I remember as a child, no one ever talked to me about death and I was never taken to the funerals of family members until I was in my late teens and early twenties when my grandmothers passed away - and I think by then it was too late and I didn't really understand what it meant or how i thought about the whole thing. I think I just felt a bit awkward about it all, seeing my parents and relations upset and emotional in a way that I hadn't previously experienced.

And, then a few year later, I remember my boss's mother dying. At work, I sat right next to him in an open plan office - right at the top of the NatWest Tower just before it was blown up by the IRA - and on his first day back into the office I didn't have a clue what to say to him or how to react and so out of ignorance (and feeling highly embarrassed) I said nothing at all and could hardly look him in the eyes. I remember I was mortified at the time (and a while after) and this thought has stayed with me forever. But this, I think, is a perfect example of lack of understanding and preparation within our culture.

Anyway, this week has brought to my attention the existence of three different ideas to improve this failure in our "protective" society, get rid of the awful stigma that surrounds death and get people talking about it:

No. 1 on the hit chart for me is a primary school teacher in Japan who encourages his pupils to write notes about how they are feeling and gets them to read them out to the class as a debating point. On this occasion we see one little boy talk about his grandmother's passing and this then encourages other pupils to talk about their own experiences. This then prompts a little girl who lost her own father at a very young age to open up and talk about her own thoughts for the very first time. It's very moving (and very lovely at the same time) so prepare yourself with a big box of tissues:

Running time less that 10 mins - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=armP8TfS9Is


In a close no. 2 position, is the new, morbidly named Death Cafe which is becoming popular both here and abroad. Have you been to a Death cafe? Or do you fancy organising one for your village hall? It's not as morbid as it sounds - more of a self help group really but you can make it your own thing so long as there is cake a-bounty and lashings of tea and coffee on hand. Essentially, it's an idea to help people come to terms with death by talking with like minded people...and it's catching on fast. So it's true, people do want to talk about death!

Find out more at www.deathcafe.com


And Finally in position 3 - but there's no intended ranking here they are all good for their own achievements - the Natural Death Centre's brand spanking new and completely free "more to death magazine" a bi-annual publication which covers all aspects of death but with a bias towards natural funeral options.

Find out more at www.naturaldeath.org.uk


So a trilogy of activity to get people talking about death. Nice. 

Now go and listen to that Salt N Pepa classic one more time...but sing along with the "new" words!

To find out more about Wealden Coffins please visit www.wealdencoffins.co.uk

Experiences of a Coffineer - Part 3

The emotional side of being a Coffineer


Twelve months ago I was working as a Marketing Manager in a city investment firm. Now I'm building the new and innovative Curve coffins that seem to be creating a stir in some circles (see my previous posts) - both good and, sometimes, not so good!

As you can imagine, life is quite different in many ways. I've swapped the luxurious air-conditioned offices - with freshly brewed cappuccino and natural spring water on tap - of central london for a draughty, often smelly farm building in the Kent countryside. I've swapped the never ending buzz of city life for an isolated farm with often no one but Ken Bruce, Jeremy Vine and Steve Wright for company!

In some ways I miss the constant buzz of city life - but in many more ways I prefer the peace and tranquility of the countryside and the satisfaction I get from making beautiful coffins with my gorgeous partner, Holly - she's the artistic one! - plus the sheer beauty and wonderfully fresh air you can only get from working in the countryside. 

One of the most satisfying parts of the job are the new people that I have met and some of the heart-moving conversations that I've had with them.

It has to be said that, since starting in this business, I have had some of the most amazing conversations of my life. Conversations that I never dreamed that I would be having even just 12 months ago. 

Gone now are the discussions about sales levels, fund performance, RDR (IFAs out there will know what I'm talking about), TCF (or Treating Customers Fairly) and lots of other not-very-interesting industry acronyms. No more 3 hour meetings to discuss why our investment process is so much more fabulous and amazing than ABC Fund Managers down the road (and on that point it's fair to say it's been a pretty topsy-turvy ride for most fund managers in recent times no matter how robust their investment process!) and gone is the office gossip about things like what Brenda in accounts was seen doing with Dave in the mail room at Trisha's leaving drinks!

No, now I have real, meaningful conversations about people's lives or more accurately people's deaths. Conversations about how they are planing their own funeral, or the funeral of someone close, conversations about how they want to do something special, something out of the norm or simply something to be remembered.

Now, I'm quite an emotional wreck at the best of times - I cried at Toy Story and Avatar, and many other Disney movies, for God's sake - but I'm afraid this is nothing compared to hearing real stories from real people. Stories about love and life and death.

Although I have had many amazing conversations, I think the most emotional story I have heard to date was from a young mother - we'll call her Sophie.

Holly and I had been away for the weekend visiting friends and upon our return I had an email and 2 voicemail messages from Sophie - one on my land line and one on my mobile - the battery of which had run out halfway through the weekend - so I knew that this was an urgent call.

Feeling slightly unnerved, I phoned Sophie first thing on Monday morning and she answered the phone almost immediately. The next 15 minutes were some of the most difficult minutes of my life but at the same time, somehow, some of the most beautiful. 

Sophie told me how she had found Wealden Coffins through the Good Funeral Guide whilst undertaking research for the funeral of her 18 month old daughter. For ease, we'll call Sophie's daughter Emily.

You see, Emily had a congenital brain tumour and her life expectancy was never expected to be too long but she had survived 18 months and her parents had lived every day of her short life with the knowledge that their little girl might not last another week. However, the previous week had not been a good one and Emily had taken a turn for the worse. Sophie and her husband had been told to prepare for the worst by their doctors. 

Sophie and her husband had decided to undertake Emily's funeral themselves so they could make the service as personal as possible and Sophie was looking at all of the options available to them. They were going to arrange and conduct the funeral with the help of the priest at the local church and they wanted a special coffin for their little girl. Of course, despite the incredibly sad circumstances, I was quite overwhelmed that they had chosen one of our hand painted Curve coffins over all of the others available on the market.

In between telling me about her daughter's condition we somehow also managed to talk about the practicalities of supplying a coffin for later that week, we discussed the colour scheme and the design that they wanted painted on it and we talked about the cost. What made it even harder for me, I think, was the knowledge that at this time Emily was still alive but not expected to survive the week. I could only imagine the level of heartache that Sophie was suffering whilst arranging the funeral of her little girl with humility and dignity.

At the end of the call I immediately burst into tears and sobbed for several minutes. It had taken all of my self control to hold it together during my conversation with Sophie and I hadn't realised the extent of the affect it was having on me. It had left me physically and mentally exhausted and that was from just one short phone call with a mother whose daughter was about to die. It only makes one wonder what sort of anguish those parents were going through on a daily basis.

Holly and I worked hard to deliver the coffin in time and I must say it looked quite beautiful. I know that Sophie and her husband were delighted with the coffin - we received a lovely email from them telling us so - so I assume that sadly they did require it in the end and poor little Emily passed from this world into the next.

Conversations like this one make me realise just how lucky I am to have three healthy children and remind me just how fragile life is. It amazes me that people like Sophie have the strength to carry on when they are suffering such mental anguish. 

But, at the same time, it also makes me see that if we can do anything to make that transition into the next world any easier by producing beautiful coffins for people then we must be doing something right.











Sorry, this is not a great picture and does not really do justice to Holly's lovely artwork.

For more information about our beautiful coffins please go to www.wealdencoffins.co.uk





All of the names used within this post have been altered for personal privacy.