Experiences of a coffineer - Part 4

Let's talk about death, baby. Let's talk about you and me.....



....Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be.

Did you see what I did there?

Ok sorry, but given the nature of this post, I couldn't resist the play on words. And it makes such a nice catchy title doesn't it? No, truly, doesn't it?

Anyway, if you're bored already and would rather not talk about death, maybe click the link below and listen to the Salt N Pepa classic instead. It's really called "Let's talk about sex" just in case you weren't aware - and it's a funky little number!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzfo4txaQJA

However, if you are still here (or you've just come back having listened to Salt N Pepa) then that's a good sign.

This week has been all about getting people to talk about death, or so it seems to me, and I think that is a really good thing.

Why do I think this? Well let me put it this way, we all have to talk about death at some stage - it's inevitable that death is going to cross our path on at least one occasion in our "life" and it's more likely that we'll have to deal with the death of at least a couple of friends and family members on the way - so why wait until it's smacking us in the face with its harsh reality to start talking?

Life really is a beautiful thing and hopefully most of us will enjoy at least some part of our short time on this planet (and hopefully a lot more). But we all know this time is limited (within our present existence anyway) and so isn't it better that we are open and honest with ourselves and acknowledge this fact. Isn't it a better idea that we talk about life and death, and talk about our hopes and wishes in both? Isn't it better that we prepare our children and spouses and siblings for what is going to happen instead of shielding them from it - only for it to appear in childhood nightmares and possibly shocking depression in later life?

I remember as a child, no one ever talked to me about death and I was never taken to the funerals of family members until I was in my late teens and early twenties when my grandmothers passed away - and I think by then it was too late and I didn't really understand what it meant or how i thought about the whole thing. I think I just felt a bit awkward about it all, seeing my parents and relations upset and emotional in a way that I hadn't previously experienced.

And, then a few year later, I remember my boss's mother dying. At work, I sat right next to him in an open plan office - right at the top of the NatWest Tower just before it was blown up by the IRA - and on his first day back into the office I didn't have a clue what to say to him or how to react and so out of ignorance (and feeling highly embarrassed) I said nothing at all and could hardly look him in the eyes. I remember I was mortified at the time (and a while after) and this thought has stayed with me forever. But this, I think, is a perfect example of lack of understanding and preparation within our culture.

Anyway, this week has brought to my attention the existence of three different ideas to improve this failure in our "protective" society, get rid of the awful stigma that surrounds death and get people talking about it:

No. 1 on the hit chart for me is a primary school teacher in Japan who encourages his pupils to write notes about how they are feeling and gets them to read them out to the class as a debating point. On this occasion we see one little boy talk about his grandmother's passing and this then encourages other pupils to talk about their own experiences. This then prompts a little girl who lost her own father at a very young age to open up and talk about her own thoughts for the very first time. It's very moving (and very lovely at the same time) so prepare yourself with a big box of tissues:

Running time less that 10 mins - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=armP8TfS9Is


In a close no. 2 position, is the new, morbidly named Death Cafe which is becoming popular both here and abroad. Have you been to a Death cafe? Or do you fancy organising one for your village hall? It's not as morbid as it sounds - more of a self help group really but you can make it your own thing so long as there is cake a-bounty and lashings of tea and coffee on hand. Essentially, it's an idea to help people come to terms with death by talking with like minded people...and it's catching on fast. So it's true, people do want to talk about death!

Find out more at www.deathcafe.com


And Finally in position 3 - but there's no intended ranking here they are all good for their own achievements - the Natural Death Centre's brand spanking new and completely free "more to death magazine" a bi-annual publication which covers all aspects of death but with a bias towards natural funeral options.

Find out more at www.naturaldeath.org.uk


So a trilogy of activity to get people talking about death. Nice. 

Now go and listen to that Salt N Pepa classic one more time...but sing along with the "new" words!

To find out more about Wealden Coffins please visit www.wealdencoffins.co.uk