Experiences of a Coffineer - Part 8

The cold chill of winter blows in

Well it has certainly been a busy few months. Summer's gone and all of a sudden we turn around to find it's blowing a gail outside, we've got early morning frost, freezing temperatures and even some snow in northern climes!

Holly and I spent much of the Summer months learning lines and rehearsing our respective parts for TODS production of Joe Orton's What the Butler Saw. Orton's controversial 60s farce sees most of the cast being drugged, stripped of their clothes or shot at. After much frenzied activity and panic in the last few weeks of rehearsal it turned out to be quite a production full of much madness and hilarity. For those of you interested enough, here's a link to a wee write up and some pics: www.tods.me.uk

I've finally completed the new garden workshop - all bar a bit of additional insulation for the roof and running a permanent power supply from the house. With primrose yellow timber cladding and reclaimed stained glass windows, it's caused a bit of a stir amongst our immediate neighbours who witnessed its construction over the summer. Its still a bit of a mess inside (tools and wood everywhere) but I've still managed to find the space to make a couple of coffins and a toy box.

Holly has been really busy putting together a collection of wildlife sculptures for her latest exhibition in Tenterden's Lighthouse Gallery with fellow artist Robbie Graham. For more information see www.hollybridgestockperriss-sculptor.com

All this brings me back to my latest Curve coffin creation:

Last week Holly took a call from a man (we'll call him Bob) whose wife had just died - literally - and  he had no idea what to do other than the fact that he wanted to secure one of our hand painted Curve coffins for his wife. He was naturally somewhat distraught and confused but felt he had to call someone, and so that someone was us. 

At this point Bob had not contacted a Funeral Director and had no idea how to choose one that might be sympathetic to his needs.

Holly's immediate thought was to put Bob in touch with our good friend Charles Cowling at the Good Funeral Guide who she knew would be able to help.  We later received this message from Bob via email.

Thank you. Thank you for coming up with such an amazing idea, design and passion to create a business from it.

I sat with my wife 4 weeks ago in the full knowledge that she was going to die without seeing our amazing and beautiful 3 and 5 year old daughters growing up. The fear I felt and am still feeling at facing the future without her being there with me is not something I can fully express but I do know that she saw this coffin (it was actually the high point of an otherwise very emotional conversation) and absolutely wanted it, so this is something that I can definitely do for her.

When I first called you, I spoke to Holly. It was within an hour of xxxxx's death, because suddenly the coffin had become so critically important, and "was" an absolute requirement for what is to come next. She recommended I look at/contact the good funeral guide, and the next day, after reading the significant advice on funeral directors I did just that and called Charles. There were no recommendations for my area, but he went away and spent 45 minutes calling not only funeral directors in my area, but celebrants to see if they knew these directors and get their opinions. Ultimately the main recommendation he had was the one I have gone with after visiting a few others, and they are accommodating everything I am asking for, even though it clearly deviates from their outwardly very "traditional" business. 

This is why we do what we do. I know it's not everyone's idea of the perfect job  but for me there is nothing more special than creating something beautiful for what is undoubtedly one of the most important days of our life.

We love creating beautiful coffins for beautiful people.

For more information about our beautiful coffins please go to www.wealdencoffins.co.uk

Experiences of a coffineer - Part 7

The art of death

Isn't it a shame that in this day and age of creativity and innovation there seems to be little progress in the design of coffins?


In fact you could say that coffin design (or manufacture at least) has taken a step backwards in the UK where the majority of sales today are of chipboard coffins with wood-effect plastic veneer or sticky back plastic in Blue Peter parlance.

Of course there are exceptions and I must say that I do like many of the woven willow coffins as well as the natural wool coffin from Hainsworth, both of which provide softer, more aesthetic options - but it's such a shame that many families are "led" down the chipboard coffin route simply for monetary reasons.

When we first designed The Curve coffin we knew we had something special -  after all there aren't any other wooden coffins with a curved profile on the market - but with an artistic hand painted, creative finish we think that we've moved coffin design into a whole new era.

Our goal is to produce beautiful works of art for each and every coffin that we make.

At the moment we have a hand-painted Curve coffin on display at the Wealden Makers' Gallery in Tenterden, Kent

The coffin is a full sized adult coffin with a beautiful artistic design created by my talented partner, Holly. It has a rubbed-back, rustic feel duck egg base coat with a stunning, stylised single dove on the top as the main image and a beautiful twisted vine border running long the edge.

I'm pleased to say that we've had great feedback from visitors to the gallery with many positive comments.

Also at the gallery is a variety of art from Tenterden Makers artists and regular exhibiting guests including photography, ceramics, felting, paintings and mosaics. For more information about the artists please see www.tenterdenmakers.com

For more information about our beautiful coffins please go to www.wealdencoffins.co.uk

Experiences of a Coffineer - Part 6

Talking with the dead


Imagine the scene: a cold dark draughty room with only a few flickering candles for light. A group of strange people gathered uncomfortably around the table. The sound of eerie music playing in the background.

Now, before we all get carried away, I'm not really referring to Ouija board seance mumbo jumbo here.

As I think I may have mentioned before, one of the most amazing and emotional parts of this job is speaking with your prospective customers as they make plans for their own deaths or for the funerals of their loved ones.

Since we first opened Wealden Coffins with the launch of the Curve Coffin last spring I've had many such conversations and I can tell you there is nothing quite so humbling as a deep and meaningful conversation with someone who is planning their own death.

Whilst most funerals are arranged in haste by family members with the local funeral directors, often with no real knowledge of what the deceased really wanted for their final celebration, there is definitely a growing number of people who want to research the options before they die and make some if not all of the final arrangement for their own funerals. 

And from the conversations I've had it seems that the last thing most of these people want is an impersonal, bog standard funeral with an often mundane and  uninspiring traditional coffin.

I recently had a chat with a lovely lady who had discovered us through the the coffin listings on the Good Funeral Guide where our good friend Charles Cowling kindly promotes us.

We talked about the weather, the snow and the rain (ok so it wasn't that recent) how the farmers were struggling and of course our coffins. She mentioned how lovely it was to see a coffin that looked so unusually unlike a coffin and how beautiful they looked!

Michelle had seen our beautiful Curve Coffin hand painted by Holly with our tree of life design but wanted to know if it was available with apples instead of hearts for the fruits. I explained that all of our coffins are hand made to order and then painted to order so anything was possible! 

We spoke about colours and finishes, apples (my favourites are Braeburn, Michelle's were Galas) and how many handles were on the coffins, that they are made from natural hemp rope and totally structural. 

At the time I wasn't sure if it was a request for herself or for another family member. I followed up with an email  confirming our conversation and left it at that.

It wasn't until several weeks later that I was reminded of the call when I was approached by the funeral directors acting for the family. Michelle had passed away and had left detailed instructions about the actual coffin she wanted for her own funeral, specifying the design, the colour and the finish in her final wishes. 

It's conversations like these that make me realise that what we are doing is something special.

We've had several people tell us that our coffins are beautiful and it's great to know that we aren't just making coffins, we make things of beauty.

Experiences of a coffineer - Part 5

Let's DIY our coffin design!


First, I want to offer a deep hearted apology for my absence these past few months. Turns out it's not so easy to launch a new business in the heart of a recession. Also turns out its not so easy to launch a new, innovative coffin design into an industry that's predominantly stuck in the dark ages!

Hmm, I'm sure that last statement will no doubt rattle a few cages but since launching the Curve coffin - beautiful hand painted, solid wood coffins - almost a year ago all but one of our sales have been "direct sales" to people looking for something a bit different to the norm, people who have decided to do it alone (without using the services of a FD) or people with a terminal illness who have time to research the market and plan their own fare well.

The one and only sale we've made through an FD was initiated by the client who saw one of our coffins on another FD's website but didn't know how to find us.

Anyway, the long and the short of it is that we've had a good, long hard think about what we want to do and why. I've had to go and earn some money doing other things and we've had to say farewell to our lovely farm based workshop in Kent. 

But, the truth of it is that we love making beautiful coffins for discerning people who want something a little bit more exclusive than your everyday, sticky back plastic covered, chip-board box. We love making works of art for people's funerals and we love having conversations with real people about their choices in life and death.

So we are still here - albeit in a slightly different configuration - and we are still making beautiful hand painted coffins...oh and the occasional toy box too!

However, since the title of this post is Let's DIY our coffin design and not Let's have a bit of a rant and tell the punters what's going on at Wealden Coffins, I'll get on with it.

It turns out that many of us are favouring a DIY approach to coffin design and, although some might not have the necessary skills to actually make their own coffins, there are many who would like to be involved in the final design or decoration of the coffin. 

So, whilst our hand painted coffins remain popular, we've been asked by many people if we can supply either a plain wooden coffin (or a plain white undercoated coffin) so that they can decorate it themselves. Not only is it much more personal but it can also prove to be extremely cathartic as friends and family take time to remember their loved ones whilst creating a loving tribute.

We were recently approached by a young mother who wanted to involve her children in the decoration of Dad's coffin. She thought it would be a good way of spending time with her boys and an opportunity to talk about their fathers death and forthcoming funeral whilst at the same time allowing them to express their thoughts through art.

We were lucky enough to be sent some photos of the finished coffin which I am sure you'll agree look marvellous.

If you have any comments or feedback, please feel to contact us through our website www.wealdencoffins.co.uk

Experiences of a coffineer - Part 4

Let's talk about death, baby. Let's talk about you and me.....



....Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be.

Did you see what I did there?

Ok sorry, but given the nature of this post, I couldn't resist the play on words. And it makes such a nice catchy title doesn't it? No, truly, doesn't it?

Anyway, if you're bored already and would rather not talk about death, maybe click the link below and listen to the Salt N Pepa classic instead. It's really called "Let's talk about sex" just in case you weren't aware - and it's a funky little number!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzfo4txaQJA

However, if you are still here (or you've just come back having listened to Salt N Pepa) then that's a good sign.

This week has been all about getting people to talk about death, or so it seems to me, and I think that is a really good thing.

Why do I think this? Well let me put it this way, we all have to talk about death at some stage - it's inevitable that death is going to cross our path on at least one occasion in our "life" and it's more likely that we'll have to deal with the death of at least a couple of friends and family members on the way - so why wait until it's smacking us in the face with its harsh reality to start talking?

Life really is a beautiful thing and hopefully most of us will enjoy at least some part of our short time on this planet (and hopefully a lot more). But we all know this time is limited (within our present existence anyway) and so isn't it better that we are open and honest with ourselves and acknowledge this fact. Isn't it a better idea that we talk about life and death, and talk about our hopes and wishes in both? Isn't it better that we prepare our children and spouses and siblings for what is going to happen instead of shielding them from it - only for it to appear in childhood nightmares and possibly shocking depression in later life?

I remember as a child, no one ever talked to me about death and I was never taken to the funerals of family members until I was in my late teens and early twenties when my grandmothers passed away - and I think by then it was too late and I didn't really understand what it meant or how i thought about the whole thing. I think I just felt a bit awkward about it all, seeing my parents and relations upset and emotional in a way that I hadn't previously experienced.

And, then a few year later, I remember my boss's mother dying. At work, I sat right next to him in an open plan office - right at the top of the NatWest Tower just before it was blown up by the IRA - and on his first day back into the office I didn't have a clue what to say to him or how to react and so out of ignorance (and feeling highly embarrassed) I said nothing at all and could hardly look him in the eyes. I remember I was mortified at the time (and a while after) and this thought has stayed with me forever. But this, I think, is a perfect example of lack of understanding and preparation within our culture.

Anyway, this week has brought to my attention the existence of three different ideas to improve this failure in our "protective" society, get rid of the awful stigma that surrounds death and get people talking about it:

No. 1 on the hit chart for me is a primary school teacher in Japan who encourages his pupils to write notes about how they are feeling and gets them to read them out to the class as a debating point. On this occasion we see one little boy talk about his grandmother's passing and this then encourages other pupils to talk about their own experiences. This then prompts a little girl who lost her own father at a very young age to open up and talk about her own thoughts for the very first time. It's very moving (and very lovely at the same time) so prepare yourself with a big box of tissues:

Running time less that 10 mins - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=armP8TfS9Is


In a close no. 2 position, is the new, morbidly named Death Cafe which is becoming popular both here and abroad. Have you been to a Death cafe? Or do you fancy organising one for your village hall? It's not as morbid as it sounds - more of a self help group really but you can make it your own thing so long as there is cake a-bounty and lashings of tea and coffee on hand. Essentially, it's an idea to help people come to terms with death by talking with like minded people...and it's catching on fast. So it's true, people do want to talk about death!

Find out more at www.deathcafe.com


And Finally in position 3 - but there's no intended ranking here they are all good for their own achievements - the Natural Death Centre's brand spanking new and completely free "more to death magazine" a bi-annual publication which covers all aspects of death but with a bias towards natural funeral options.

Find out more at www.naturaldeath.org.uk


So a trilogy of activity to get people talking about death. Nice. 

Now go and listen to that Salt N Pepa classic one more time...but sing along with the "new" words!

To find out more about Wealden Coffins please visit www.wealdencoffins.co.uk

Experiences of a Coffineer - Part 3

The emotional side of being a Coffineer


Twelve months ago I was working as a Marketing Manager in a city investment firm. Now I'm building the new and innovative Curve coffins that seem to be creating a stir in some circles (see my previous posts) - both good and, sometimes, not so good!

As you can imagine, life is quite different in many ways. I've swapped the luxurious air-conditioned offices - with freshly brewed cappuccino and natural spring water on tap - of central london for a draughty, often smelly farm building in the Kent countryside. I've swapped the never ending buzz of city life for an isolated farm with often no one but Ken Bruce, Jeremy Vine and Steve Wright for company!

In some ways I miss the constant buzz of city life - but in many more ways I prefer the peace and tranquility of the countryside and the satisfaction I get from making beautiful coffins with my gorgeous partner, Holly - she's the artistic one! - plus the sheer beauty and wonderfully fresh air you can only get from working in the countryside. 

One of the most satisfying parts of the job are the new people that I have met and some of the heart-moving conversations that I've had with them.

It has to be said that, since starting in this business, I have had some of the most amazing conversations of my life. Conversations that I never dreamed that I would be having even just 12 months ago. 

Gone now are the discussions about sales levels, fund performance, RDR (IFAs out there will know what I'm talking about), TCF (or Treating Customers Fairly) and lots of other not-very-interesting industry acronyms. No more 3 hour meetings to discuss why our investment process is so much more fabulous and amazing than ABC Fund Managers down the road (and on that point it's fair to say it's been a pretty topsy-turvy ride for most fund managers in recent times no matter how robust their investment process!) and gone is the office gossip about things like what Brenda in accounts was seen doing with Dave in the mail room at Trisha's leaving drinks!

No, now I have real, meaningful conversations about people's lives or more accurately people's deaths. Conversations about how they are planing their own funeral, or the funeral of someone close, conversations about how they want to do something special, something out of the norm or simply something to be remembered.

Now, I'm quite an emotional wreck at the best of times - I cried at Toy Story and Avatar, and many other Disney movies, for God's sake - but I'm afraid this is nothing compared to hearing real stories from real people. Stories about love and life and death.

Although I have had many amazing conversations, I think the most emotional story I have heard to date was from a young mother - we'll call her Sophie.

Holly and I had been away for the weekend visiting friends and upon our return I had an email and 2 voicemail messages from Sophie - one on my land line and one on my mobile - the battery of which had run out halfway through the weekend - so I knew that this was an urgent call.

Feeling slightly unnerved, I phoned Sophie first thing on Monday morning and she answered the phone almost immediately. The next 15 minutes were some of the most difficult minutes of my life but at the same time, somehow, some of the most beautiful. 

Sophie told me how she had found Wealden Coffins through the Good Funeral Guide whilst undertaking research for the funeral of her 18 month old daughter. For ease, we'll call Sophie's daughter Emily.

You see, Emily had a congenital brain tumour and her life expectancy was never expected to be too long but she had survived 18 months and her parents had lived every day of her short life with the knowledge that their little girl might not last another week. However, the previous week had not been a good one and Emily had taken a turn for the worse. Sophie and her husband had been told to prepare for the worst by their doctors. 

Sophie and her husband had decided to undertake Emily's funeral themselves so they could make the service as personal as possible and Sophie was looking at all of the options available to them. They were going to arrange and conduct the funeral with the help of the priest at the local church and they wanted a special coffin for their little girl. Of course, despite the incredibly sad circumstances, I was quite overwhelmed that they had chosen one of our hand painted Curve coffins over all of the others available on the market.

In between telling me about her daughter's condition we somehow also managed to talk about the practicalities of supplying a coffin for later that week, we discussed the colour scheme and the design that they wanted painted on it and we talked about the cost. What made it even harder for me, I think, was the knowledge that at this time Emily was still alive but not expected to survive the week. I could only imagine the level of heartache that Sophie was suffering whilst arranging the funeral of her little girl with humility and dignity.

At the end of the call I immediately burst into tears and sobbed for several minutes. It had taken all of my self control to hold it together during my conversation with Sophie and I hadn't realised the extent of the affect it was having on me. It had left me physically and mentally exhausted and that was from just one short phone call with a mother whose daughter was about to die. It only makes one wonder what sort of anguish those parents were going through on a daily basis.

Holly and I worked hard to deliver the coffin in time and I must say it looked quite beautiful. I know that Sophie and her husband were delighted with the coffin - we received a lovely email from them telling us so - so I assume that sadly they did require it in the end and poor little Emily passed from this world into the next.

Conversations like this one make me realise just how lucky I am to have three healthy children and remind me just how fragile life is. It amazes me that people like Sophie have the strength to carry on when they are suffering such mental anguish. 

But, at the same time, it also makes me see that if we can do anything to make that transition into the next world any easier by producing beautiful coffins for people then we must be doing something right.











Sorry, this is not a great picture and does not really do justice to Holly's lovely artwork.

For more information about our beautiful coffins please go to www.wealdencoffins.co.uk





All of the names used within this post have been altered for personal privacy. 

Experiences of a coffineer - Part 2

What's in a name

Before I start this peice I should just say (and I think it's completely appropriate given the subject of this particular post) that this blog was very, very close to being titled "The experiences of a confiner". Not because I thought this was a particularly good title or the fact that I like the idea of being the ultimate confiner, so to speak, but solely due to the power of the Blogger spell-check / auto-correct function. 

Yes, the blogers' tool had decided in its wisdnm that "Confiner" was a better word than "Coffineer" and had tried to outwit me by sneaking in the change. It was only at the last second, as my curser hovered perilously close to the "Publish" button that I spotted its dastardly plan and changed it back. You see the word "Coffineer" for some unknown reason does not actually appear in the OED the Collins or any other dictionary for that matter* and so in a way the computer blog thing was right...or was it?

Anyway, back to the story which takes place over a pint or two of Shepherd Naeme's finest ale at the Vine Inn in Tenterden. I was enjoying a drink in the warmth of the bar with my partner, Holly and our two friends Barry and Izzy who had been minding our collection of Curve coffins whilst we packed up the "stall" after the aforementioned late night shopping evening. 

As previously mentioned, I had been frozen to the core with nothing but a Woodchurch scouts' alcohol free mulled wine - if there can be such a thing - and a last minute, life saving portion of Bob's chips (bought to me by the delightful Holly) after 4 hours in the freezing cold and so was in desperate need of a pint or two of the amber nectar in the warmth of this fine hostelry.

It was a particularly busy night but we managed to secure a few inches of carpet close to the bar. We are pretty good friends with one of the managers at this particular drinking hole, what with him being a fully paid up member of Equity and what with three of us also treading the boards on occasion, and conversation soon turned to the events of the night and how we were getting on with this 'ere coffin making malarky. 

After explaining that we had had a good night despite some "raised eyebrows" - see later post to come courtesy of Kentish Express - Fraser, for that is the bar manager's name, asked what the formal address should be for a coffin maker of distinction. Was it a Coffinister, a simple box maker, a death chippie, a screwer and banger or what?

So I in my finest anglo-saxon and at the top of my voice proudly declared "I am a Coffineer - All for one and one for all!" 

Experiences of a coffineer - Part 1

The late night shopping experience

And so it was, on a cold winter’s evening in deepest darkest Kent, that I found myself ferrying freshly made and painted Curve coffins back and forth between my small farm-based workshop and the 8 by 8 high street plot that was to be my pitch for the evening.

Now, I whole heartedly agree that, perhaps, coffins are possibly not everyone’s obvious first choice as a stocking filler, but as newly signed up members of the local Chamber of Commerce, Wealden Coffins were invited to attend the Christmas late night shopping event alongside other local businesses and organisations. We were positioned in a prime position alongside a local scout group and the Kent Air Ambulance and opposite a local hostelry from whence came an abundance of festive entertainment. A good pitch I thought, although without any of the usual mod cons – gazebo, outside lighting, thermal underwear etc. Just me, a pork pie hat and the coffins - see pic below.

I say ferrying (above) since at this moment in time we are not in possession of a sensible vehicle for the carriage of coffins and so (for transportation purposes) they sit proudly on the roof bars of my resourceful Renault Clio. As you can imagine, this spectacle alone has raised many an eye in the Kent countryside and further afield as we transport our coffins around the country. However, we’ve used this tried and tested method on several occasions to deliver our beautiful coffins to funeral directors as far afield as Brighton (around 30 miles) and Central London (around 50 miles – which included a fair jog around the M25 en route).

Whilst delivering a sample Curve coffin to ARKA in Brighton last year, at one point we found ourselves in a funeral convoy with a traditional hearse up front, a funeral limousine and then our little Clio with one of our coffins aloft. Fortunately, in many ways, the Curve doesn’t really look like a traditional coffin and so I think many people assume we are just transporting a painted ottoman or such like. Anyway on this occasion I think we managed to get away with it!

So, back to the late night shopping and eventually I was all set up and raring to go in the high street with three of our Curve coffins on trestles (2 of which were hand painted and a third which was plain timber), a stack of marketing literature and details of our exciting “Design a coffin” competition! First prize a £20 Amazon voucher!

Despite the cold - and blimey it was cold! – quite a few people had braved the weather to enjoy the festivities, take in the sights and generally fill themselves on free mince pies and mulled wine from the various stalls and shops that were open and offering free treats to entice customers in. And, despite any freebies of my own, very soon I started to get people stopping and looking and pointing and even a few people who wanted to chat.

I always knew that it could be quite controversial to have a coffin stall at a Christmas late night shopping event – well, it’s not normal is it? – and I think the Chamber of Commerce were quite brave in their decision to invite us but I was quite surprised at the level of interest we received. As you may imagine, we had a very mixed reaction from people as they passed  our display but reaction we did get as well as some interesting follow-up PR from the local press.

Interestingly, the majority of people didn’t seem to realise immediately that I was promoting coffins. I had many people rush up to me asking, “What are they?” and swiftly followed up with an “I knew they were” or an “I told you so” or even an “that’s five quid you owe me” when I confirmed that they were indeed coffins. It seems that many of these just didn't quite believe that I could be standing there with a display of coffins when Santa was just around the corner giving treats out to young children and Mary and Joseph were entertaining the 3 wise men in the local church. 

I must admit I did get a few people who suggested that it wasn’t particularly festive and even one gentleman who muttered under his breath, but loud enough to make his feelings heard, that it was “bloody outrageous”. But at the same time I received a lot of very positive feedback from people who wanted to talk about the interesting new look of our coffins, were pleased that we had bought a “taboo” and hidden away subject out into the open, who were interested in the construction of the strange curved coffins or who were just interested in having a chat.

Extraordinarily, following a conversation with the event organiser for Godington House in Ashford, we may also have the potential of exhibiting one of our coffins with them, during their annual “sculpture in the gardens” exhibition! We'll see how that one pans out in a later instalment.

All in all, a pretty good evening I thought, despite eventually losing the feeling in both my toes and my fingers, and definitely something that I would do again. It was a real eye-opener to see how the public reacted to our presence and yet the praise we received far outweighed any negative sentiment. Following the many positive conversation I had this evening I think it is time that we brought our industry out into the open and let people see some of the options available to them before they reach that time when they have to make a purchase!

Photo courtesy of Lewis Brockway – Dec 2012

For more information about Wealden Coffins please visit www.wealdencoffins.co.uk