It's lovely to hear tales of life, love and loss - however moving and emotional they are - as these are stories of real people who we share our short lives with.
What's interesting to note from this story is the high level of involvement by the whole family and local community which is so different to how most funerals operate in the UK. It makes me wonder if we have over sanitised this important tradition with a hope to protect our still living family. In the end, I fear, this has the opposite effect by making death a taboo subject which most of us dread but yet at the same time is inevitable.
One of the main reason we developed the Curve Coffin is to help people to celebrate the life of their loved ones and to offer a beautiful option for a solid wood coffin.
So, in my friend's own words….
Here's the
tale of a funeral I went to about 5 years ago, nearer to home in Ireland.
Nothing so splendid.
Some of my in-laws are from
an Irish-speaking part of western Ireland. The cities there are as cosmopolitan
as anywhere but the countryside maintains its traditions, particularly for the
elderly.
This area
of Ireland has converted to Irish-speaking but when the deceased was growing up
(he was born in 1925) his father insisted his children went to English-speaking
schools because he felt this was the way forward. Of the 9 brothers and sisters
born in that very house, one died in her 30's, 1 went to Liverpool as a nanny,
3 went to London to seek their fortune, a couple of girls married local farmers
and 2 boys stayed home as bachelors to run the farm.
The deceased died in an
old-people's home (very rare in Ireland but he had never married) and from the
moment he died he was never left alone: three nieces and their children took it
in turn to sit with his body until he was removed to the undertaker's.
The undertaker employed
someone to stay with him until he and his coffin were removed to his former
home. Once at home, the family and neighbours sat with him in his open coffin
in the sitting room - this is the origin of the "Wake", as someone
stays awake with the body in its coffin – until he was ready to be removed to
the Chapel.
We arrived from the UK via
plane and hire-car at midnight, after a full day's work, and sat up with him
all night until someone woke in the morning to let us go to bed. By 3 am I was
so tired I was willing to take the body to bed with us, I’m sure he wouldn't
have minded!
The next day after a home
service, the undertaker took the body to its chapel of rest. Local papers had
already issued invitations to anyone who wished to come to attend the
"Remove" and there were over 1,000 attendees.
The family (us) were
arranged in a line from nearest to furthest related, I was at the end with the
cousins-in-law, loads of them. All the guests shook hands with everyone and
murmured "I'm sorry for your loss".
The children drew pictures
which they put in the coffin with sweets, photos, etc. At the end the family
were invited to screw down the coffin lid (I said no…weird) and the coffin was
wheeled across the road to the church, draped in Irish flags and I don't know
what else.
In the church a junior
priest sat up all night with the body. The next day was the service, fairly
normal, then the bereaved nephews and cousins carried the deceased to his final
resting place beside his brother and parents in the church graveyard.
I am not
religious but it was the most meaningful funeral I have ever attended and,
having Irish in-laws, I go to a lot of funerals.
The thing is, it was all
done with great respect. They are my in-laws and they are from such a different
world.
For more information about the Curve Coffin please visit www.wealdencoffins.co.uk
